3rd of May

and I already am late posting. I went home yesterday with something like a migraine. Not quite migraine status, but definitely enough to make me go home early. Thankfully I had scheduled a post for yesterday.

Today I would like to talk about family. I know - again? But really, can one talk too much about family? Sure, not all families are fantastic, but they will always be family. I am looking forward to trying out this new family arrangement coming in August. It will be strange, yet familiar. We will all have to learn and work at things together, including in-laws.

Given our situation, the major concern B and I have is maintaining our communication. We both realize we have changed immensely in the last 8 years, and efforts from both of us to keep communicating with (not at) each other will be vital. We also want to keep lines of communication open for the children's input. We will all be working hard, but enjoying our time together.

Anyway, family means different things to different people. I love my family, even when they drive me absolutely insane. These people made me who I am today, including my children, and I wouldn't trade it for the world. I am super grateful for all of the love I have been shown by my family, and am excited for them to share in the new journey of B and I falling in love again, becoming a family again.

I know I talk a lot about my children, but they are truly my reason for being here. I need them as much as they need me. They focus me on what is important, and remind me of what isn't. My children keep me strong, and let me be myself. My children are angels on earth, just like yours are.

I am sure I (occasionally) cause my daughter to want to strangle me in my sleep - she is a teenager after all. She rarely lets it show, and has been doing her best to stay patient with me as I struggle with letting her grow up. She has been helping out around the house, sometimes without being asked or reminded! I wonder if I were a different type of parent how my daughter would have turned out. Would I even like what I helped to create? I couldn't ask for a better daughter than what I have now, even if she sometimes forgets to ask permission for some things (although I may have made the mistake of mentioning the phrase  "it is easier to ask forgiveness than permission" more than once).

And my son! Talk about a super-helper. I worry that he helps too much, and feels put upon. I try to avoid it, but sometimes it's so easy to ask because he has never told me no. I introduced him to a series of books last night that he didn't want to try, but is now addicted to. He threw an attitude (not really a fit or anything, just clear he didn't want to try) and I negotiated that he give it a 10 minute chance. Half an hour later he was engrossed. Evil Mom wins again!

My mother has been such an important part of my life, and elder abuse threats aside, she has been a strong influence. I am cynical, but fair, and I learned this from her. I hope she can maintain that as time rolls by. I want her to know she will always be my mother, and my rock. I also need her to give me advice, and help me with things. I don't want her to think I will ever stop asking for help, or shopping at Masie's Grocery Store/Craft Store/Five-n-Dime/Restaurant.

Sometimes family members just don't get it. Although it has been said that we marry our spouse's family, that is not true. We marry our spouse. We create a new family. We are also part of another family. We expand our families, and that is where true families begin. Sure, we may not feel accepted right away, or we may be made to feel unwelcome/unappreciated, but we are still part of that family. Our spouses need to make it clear that they married us, and love us, and would appreciate their family accepting that reality. Sometimes this is all it takes, and sometimes the families don't want to make that effort.

My ex-mother-in-law still thinks of me as her daughter, and I am so thankful to have her still be part of our lives. B's mom is pretty righteous. I am fortunate in that. I wish the same for other families.

I was recently reminded of something my mother told my children's god-father a few years ago. His father was being unusually like a Massengill. My friend was very upset and hurt. My mother told him that no matter what, his father would always be his father, so he needed to stay available to him. Sometimes my father makes me feel left out, and less important than his step-children, but no matter what, he will always be my father, so when I can, I make sure to stay available to him, and stay in touch with him.

So, that was my two cents on family.  Your turn!